Writing Erotica 2 – Vagina Terminology

I’m sort of abstractly peeved that I wrote the penis post before I wrote this one. In a way it just seems like I was totally buying into the dick pervasiveness in society..

Note: In the anatomy section, I do refer to the Vagina as part of the ‘female reproductive organs,’ however Vagina’s are NOT solely female as the world is exciting and filled with all types of people.

Both Men and Women can have Vaginas, So please Use this Writing Erotica guide for your Vagina-equipped characters.

Anyway, let’s get to the meat of it!

Warning: This is NSFW and there is an image of a VAGINA after the jump!!! (Run in fear)

This is NOT supposed to be a guide about using language in society, this is a reference for erotic writing and getting readers in the mood.

Vaginas, they exist. So much so obvious.

 

Well first lets go over a simple anatomy/terminology lesson. You can look at the lovely image to the left for reference!

The Anatomy of the Vagina
This image was found through Google Image search and its source is http://pregnancykut.com/vagina-anatomy/.

The female reproductive organs are often referred to as the ‘vagina’ in colloquial society, however this is a slight misnomer. The Vagina is the internal structure leading to the cervix and womb, the external sexual organs are called the Vulva. Part of the external structure of the vagina is labia (Majora and Minora) which are often referred to as the ‘lips’ of the vagina. There is also the ever popular clitoris.
I altered this image to remove the bit that talked about the TORN hymen because the “tearing” of hymens is misinformation about sex and homie don’t play that. For more information about Hymens – what they are and how they work, and how you DON’T ACTUALLY BREAK or POP them  – Please go Here to check out Laci Green‘s Sex+ video on Hymens. It is VERY informative

In this article I will go over various terminology for the vulva, the vagina, and the clitoris. With a brief foray into the g-spot (it really doesn’t have a lot of synonyms).

Terminology.

To be perfectly honest, there are very few terms that aren’t completely inane. My biggest criteria for this list is ‘what terms would I, personally, want my Lady Bits referred to with.’ Like always, I completely admit that this list is highly biased.

The biggest thing I want to impart is that all terms can be valid if they are used in the right context. Your characters might use particular colloquialisms to refer to their parts and that should be done in character. A more reserved character is more likely to use more reserved language and not suddenly refer to a vagina as a fur burger, however I am sure there are characters for whom something like squish mitten is perfectly valid (Even if both terms are completely inane), so it all depends on context.

Vagina Terminology

Common Terms that don’t seem super objectionable:

Vagina – Its pretty straight forward. Its a Vagina. Get over it.

Neither Good nor Bad – Debatable Terms:

CuntOh no she didn’t. Yes I did. The term cunt has a long history and while modern usage has it pegged as vulgar and insulting, there is a movement in the feminist community to reclaim this word in a more positive light. The history of the word is quite fascinating and it is believed to be derived from Proto-Germanic (placing its origins between 500BCE and 500CE). I do suggest that this word be used with caution as it provokes a very strong response in a lot of people (which I will probably hear about in comments), however I think that in the right context this word should not be discounted. (The right context is NOT ‘dude she’s such a cunt’ in case any asinine morons are wondering) If you are interesting in reading about this word, head over Here.

Pussy – Some people love this term. I am not truly fond of it because it sounds like it’s from a bad porn movie. I find the term oddly infantile and that kind of creeps me out. But it is popular and widely used. Also the unfortunate cat reference in the term is weird. I don’t think of cats when I think of vaginas.

Quim – British term – apparently slightly vulgar, but aren’t all terms referring to genitalia? I happen to kind of like this one, but I think it’s because I like words with Q’s. Being a British transplant, I am not completely aware of the social mores attached to this term, but my research hasn’t shown it to be terrible.

 

Bad:

Slit – This term can work, but to be honest its iffy. I wouldn’t use it all the time, but ‘licked her slit’ does work on occasion. Sounds too much like a wound for my tastes.

Beaver – Its an animal with big teeth. If your character has vagina dentata, then feel free to use this term with authority. Otherwise, it feels like the type of term that would be used on terrible sit-coms.

Sheath – To me, this term is sexist. It seems to imply that a vagina is nothing but the receptacle for a penis. It discounts sex that doesn’t involve a penis by making the vagina sound empty if the penis is not involved. I’m not into terminology that subconsciously promotes heteronormative garbage.

Other Terms grabbed from Wikisaurus

Each word has a link to take you to that WikiSaurus page, I have color coded some of the words into Three categories – Useful in Green, Neutral in Orange, and Awful in Red.

Here are some more from Online Slang Dictionary, most of them are insulting. I don’t recommending using them.

But have some variety. Some really horrible variety.

axe wound 
badly wrapped kebab  man in the boat, the
bald man in a boat  meat curtains  
bean  meat flap  
bearded clam   meatwallet  
bearded oyster   meat wallet  
beav  minge  
beaver   moose knuckle  
beefcurtain   muff  
beef curtain   muffin  
birth cannon   na na  
blue waffle   nappy dugout  
box   neden  
bread   nookie  
buju   open wound  
camel’s foot   pink  
camel toe   pink canoe  
candy   pink sausage wallet  
chach   pink taco  
cha cha   pink velvet sausage wallet  
cherry   piss flaps  
chocha   pookie  
cho cho   poon  
chonch   poonaner  
choot   poonani  
clit   poontang  
clunge   poon tang pie  
cock   pootang  
cock pocket   poo tang  
cooch   pooter  
coochie   pootie tang  
cookie  promised land 
 coosie   punani 
cooter   punanni 
cuder   puss 
cunny    pussy  
cunt   putang  
cunt punt   quif  
cutty   quiff  
cut up   quim  
fanny   quivering mound of love pudding  
fish taco   roast beef  
flange   roast beef curtains  
front bottom   slit  
fuck hole   smush mitten  
fur burger   snatch  
fur pie   snizz  
gap   soggy box  
gash   sprained vagina  
growler   tampon tunnel  
hair burger   tang  
hair pie   trim  
ham flap   tunnel of love  
ham wallet   twat  
hatchet wound   twitchet  
hoo hoo   V  
hot pocket   vadge  
ill na na   vag  
incision   vagoo  
jute   vajayjay  
kitty   vertical smile  
kooch   whispering eye  
kuder   woo  
lip   woogit  
lunchmeat  wugget  
mangina –  insult. Don’t use wuss

A lot of these are horrible.

Vulva Terminology –

Most terms can be interchangeable with Vagina, but there are a few that are different. I don’t really have an opinion on any of these enough to thoroughly recommend any of them, however I’m including them for informative purposes. Oddly enough, a lot of terms suggested as synonyms for Vulva are actually synonyms for sexual intercourse. How bizarre.

Neutral:

Minge – Can refer to the vulva or the exterior labia and pubis mons collectively. Doesn’t seem to have too much baggage, but I haven’t really heard it used much.

Muffin – Bluffin’ with my Muffin baby. I think all cutesy terms are a bit inane, but apparently this term’s definitions include both a vulva and a ‘charming, attractive young man.’ Which cracks me up. I’m all for gender bendy terms and having one that can be used like this is hilarious to me. I challenge anyone to write something where the term is used in both ways much to the confusion of other characters. It would be hilarious.

Not Recommended:

Cooch, Coochie, Coochy – When I hear this term I think of purses, which is also a term people occasionally use. I don’t like either. In the right context, this term could be used by characters when they talk about their parts, however I wouldn’t use this in descriptions. ‘licked her cooch’ just doesn’t seem sexy to me.

Kitty – Don’t be mean to your cat. This term is used (‘put it in my kitty’) but I find it both infantile and inane. Also persistent use can give the reader the vision that you are committing gross acts of cruelty to your pets. Not really a turn-on for many people.

Twat – Some people like this term, however it is also used as an insult, and generally referring to a woman’s genitals with a term that is also an insult is frowned upon (I do realize I made an exception for Cunt, but extenuating circumstances apply). I also think this term is  too close to ‘twit’ to really stand on its own.

Slot – Like sheath, this term is kind of sexist, suggesting that vagina’s are inherently empty and gaping holes in desperate need of PENIS. Also the connotation that giving women something will gain you access to their lady parts, isn’t really lovely to think about.

Here are some more terms from Wikisaurus

Clitoris Terminology

Ahah! We reach the Clitoris! Which society apparently believes is the magical button of rainbows. (it’s lovely but it’s not THAT lovely) Clitoral stimulation can be very pleasurable but I’ve seen writers imply that brushing against it will release a torrent of ‘pussy juice’, which I’ve personally not seen to be true. It’s entirely possible that there are women who are that sensitive, but generally speaking, it’s not a magic button.

Good:

Clitoris – Its accurate, but a little long and wordy. I don’t find it a ‘pretty’ sounding word, but its accurate.

Clit – Shorter, more popular, but it doesn’t really role off the tongue well (*snerk*). I do recommend it for descriptive paragraphs.

Neutral:

Pearl – Could work. Sounds weird. Vagina’s and oysters have a strange culturally created metaphor. Not my thing but hey, if it’s yours, go ahead.

Bean – I just find this awkward because I keep seeing a kidney been in the gal’s ladygarden. It just seems slightly slangy for descriptive text.

Button – Sounds like you’re in an elevator, but this term can be used well.

Nub – This always makes me think of the small nub like mouse on my old laptop. But some people do like to use it.

Bad:

Dickle – generally refers to a larger than average clitoris occasionally due to steroid use. Since all people are built differently and some women may have larger than average clits, I think this term is inane and insulting. All vagina’s are different and should be appreciated.

Here are some more terms from Wikisaurus

G-Spot Terms:

There aren’t a lot of these, in fact it’s pretty much G-spot or bust. I did find a few though.

Hot Spot – Works. Bit dull, but it works.

Sweet Spot – Works.

Inane:

Mmm Spot – Uhhh…. okay?

Labia Terms

Common

Petals – Popular, although the ‘delicate flower’ metaphor is a bit moot when you’re planning on thrusting into it with abandon. Still it can set a mood.

Lips – Also popular, but the image is odd to think of.

Terrible

Piss clam/curtain/fender/flap – This should never be used in erotica.

Flaps – In general I find this term really….. disgusting.

Here are some more terms from Wikisaurus

A lot of them are insulting.

The biggest problem with Vagina terminology is that there are so many parts of a vagina that can be stimulated, yet our language hasn’t created individual positive terms for all of them. This is a product of the inherent sexism that has pervaded the English language for hundreds of years. And before someone complains that the language isn’t sexist anymore, please have a look at how many terms for the vagina and its functions are also associated with the idea of being weak, stupid, infantile, and annoying. Twat, Douche, Pussy, Kitty, etc.  Even though many terms for the penis aren’t positive, the association is still seen as stronger than vagina terminology. A dick or prick is seen a person who is strong enough to do something horrible. A pussy is seen as weak. Language is important for context.

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6 thoughts on “Writing Erotica 2 – Vagina Terminology

  1. You missed a few of my favorites. I like to refer to the vaginal canal as a velvet glove (both romantic imho) and her nether lips is self explanatory. I did find you thorough in finding the terms you did include. Well done, you produced a very readable account. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Some things to consider….I do not disagree with you…I would only like to point out that some words you say no to can be a yes depending on the context you use them. There are three words that stood out to me. I would like to address each.

    1. Beaver – I agree not a word to be used for erotic writing…does not even sound erotic

    2. Cunt – I agree….Using it to me depends on your partner for one and so you should talk to them about it first. Two it depends on the style of erotica. If I am making love to a person I tend to not use the word Cunt or even Pussy . I will use words such as flower, blossom, netherlips, mons, blosom, heat, center, passion, desire and even cunny. However if the style of erotica is more urgent and passion and overwhelming a sense of base desire…then I will use words like Pussy, Cunt, Fuck….Sometimes the dirty and vulgarity can stimulate in ways that are more frantic and filled with lust.

    3. Sheath – While I understand what you are saying about this word. I have to disagree with it being sexist. It all depends on the context and if your writing erotica about a man and a woman, then why not use it. After all his genitalia is referred to as a sword. There is no power play here, a sword and sheath do not fight each other. They COMPLIMENT each other. Now what about writing erotica between two women…..Again CONTEXT…..I could write “I enjoy how you moan when I sheathe my tongue deeply within your well” OR since that is describing the action let me turn it into a noun. “I hear you gasp as my tongue presses deeply within your sheath.” One of it’s definitions is: Biology. a closely enveloping part or structure, as in an animal or plant. So again it comes down to context. Keep in mind also what if it is two guys, isn’t it perfectly alright to describe their genitalia as swords? “As he slipped between his thighs, he gently takes his sword between his lips”

    Anyway, just an opinion 🙂

    Have a nice day.

  3. Can I be a dick-headed pedantic twat and ask you not to use apostrophes when writing simple plurals…. The lists were very useful – but show there are few terms that don’t have iffy associations. I use “cunt” sometimes since it’s become rather affectionate when not being used (ridiculously) as an insult….

    1. My english teacher would barrel roll if I gave up my plural apostrophes. Its like asking me to give up the oxford comma…it just feels so WRONG!!! Haha.
      Glad they were useful. I’m quite partial to “cunt” myself, nice strong word.

  4. I write and read erotica. Two terms you didn’t comment on that make me cringe yet I find them over and over are: “folds” and “her sex”. The first one makes me think of balogna folded in a sandwich. My vagina is not a cold cut. And the second one is so prudish and ridiculous, any writer afraid to use more explicit terminology shouldn’t be writing erotica.

    1. I agree, referring to anyone’s bits as “their sex” is very prudish. Its like the author is shirking from describing them out of embarassment. Which Parts Are They? THE SEX PARTS!!! THE PARTS YOU SEX WITH!!! AHHH DONT ASK ME QUESTIONS

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